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The Vintage Stoner

The Vintage Stoner

An old pothead's views on legal weed and getting high

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DavidRayDavenport1977

Weed shirts hoodies, mugs and gifts inspired by dope songs of the seventies

All good stuff that you won’t find anyplace else, and with shipping included

T-Shirts, Long Sleeve T-Shirts, Hoodies, Mugs and Water Bottles

I’m an artist by trade, so starting an online store to sell t-shirts and hoodies was a no brainer. But mugs and water bottles? What better to sip your cannabis infused drinks from?

Shipping is included. I’m not one of those to yell FREE SHIPPING when I’m just rolling the cost into the price. That’s something a dick would do. I make about five bucks on every product I sell.

All items are printed on demand, so allow 3-5 days for production prior to shipping.

You get something cool and unique and help feed my weed habit at the same time. Thanks!

Pick a design …

Shirts and hoodies inspired by songs about dope … comfy, quality stuff that you won’t find anywhere else

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Mugs and water bottles for your cannabis infused drinks … works with coffee, tea and kool-aid too!

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Taking A Shower With GTI Black Afghan and a side of Nature’s Grace And Wellness’ Skywalker

A review of an eighth of GTI Black Afghan
An eighth of GTI Black Afghan

GTI Black Afghan is a potent Indica strain, high in THC, with a vintage lineage, and exotic taste and smell. Nature’s Grace and Wellness Skywalker is another Indica, a hybrid dominated by Afghani. Spreading a dab of batter on a bud of Black Afghan brings out the cerebral hints of the Thai inherent in both, while the Afghani washes over your body in waves. 

My wife loves me so I get weed for my birthday 

GTI Black Afghan is likely my favorite strain of flower. I love the Indica buzz, but also the taste and smell. Rush, the band pointed it out to me way back in the seventies, in the song Passage To Bangkok. “The fragrance of Afghanistan, rewards a long day’s toil.” 

It’s the one strain I couldn’t imagine not having on hand. Actually most any Afghan will keep happy. But GTI Black Afghan makes me the happiest.

My birthday is next week and the wife asked what I wanted. “Hash?”

“Actually no,” I replied. “That’s not been around for a while.” The last time I looked the dispensary didn’t have anything I needed, and I had a decent stash left of the regulars. “But I’ll take a look.”

Benjamin Franklin never said that beer was proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. He actually said that about wine. But to bastardize the old fart, weed for your birthday is proof your wife loves you and wants you to be happy. 

I went to the website and surprisingly, GTI Black Afghan was in stock. I was getting low on concentrate, and knew Azrael was on sale. I looked. It was sold out. 

“Fuck.”

Then I saw Skywalker was in stock. Skywalker is another Afghan, another Indica. It’s a hybrid, but like Black Afghan, with only classic strains. 

We had planned a romantic interlude for that afternoon. We headed for ThriveIL in Harrisburg instead. We had the night after all. 

GTI Black Afghan’s relaxing buzz makes for mellow, but psychedelic ride to the dispensary

I took a few bong hits before we left of Black Afghan which I still had on hand. It knocked me into a daze which I happily wandered in all afternoon. As I was pretty much locked to the car seat with a body buzz, I chatted away constantly. I was amazed by almost everything I saw along the country highways to Harrisburg. And back as well. 

I’m usually a nervous passenger. But I forgot to worry the whole trip. That I chalk up to the relaxing properties of GTI Black Afghan.

I had to navigate Walmart, and that’s where the munchies hit. For the past four weeks, I’ve done amazing on my diet. I’d suddenly found a resolve I’d been lacking.

I came out there with a box of fried chicken and potato wedges, and a bag of chocolate covered almonds.  After putting that and the groceries away, I napped hard. 

Building the perfect buzz that goes from relaxation to horny … and back again

Before supper we sat on the couch and I filled the pipe with a small bud from the new batch of GTI Black Afghan. My birthday present. She thought about getting me a robe, as my elbow pops out of this one. But I persuaded her that this would make me happier. And she loves to see me happy. Which can be unusual in relationships it seems. I’m lucky that way. 

It seems that usually there’s one or two big buds and a few smaller ones in an eighth of GTI Black Afghan. Sometimes you get one of those you hate to break up, that you want to name because you just want to keep it forever. 

It might have been the tastiest bowl I’ve ever smoked. It was full bodied Afghan, rich and earthy, with that bite of Thai floating on the top. And it hit hard. 

The lineage of this plant starts with Afghan #1 – about as pure as you can get. It’s crossed with Black Domina, itself created from four classic strains – Afghani, Hash Plant- also an Afghani, Ortega which is a Thai and Northern Lights. Northern Light is a cross between Afghan and Thai. 

Thai is another one of the strains I keep on hand. Also thanks to Rush, and the same song as a matter of fact. 

As romance was on for the evening, I thought it a good idea to try to relax. So I dabbed a bit of Nature Grace And Wellness’ Skywalker over it. Skywalker is a cross between Mazar Sharif, another legendary Afghani strain, and Blueberry, a cross of Thai and Purple Thai. 

In short, it’s a heavy Indica, mainly Afghani, with enough Thai to make it mind blowing, as well as sedating. Both the flower and the badder were extremely complimentary. That accents the tastes and effects of the buzz, rather than muddying it up. 

It might have been the tastiest bowl I’ve ever smoked. It was full bodied Afghan, rich and earthy, with that bite of Thai floating on the top. And it hit hard. 

It was a while before I paused in the rambling train of thought that poured out of my mouth, and the wife reminded me I was supposed to be taking a shower. I remembered. Romance. 

Nature's Grace and Wellness Skywalker Badder reviewed
Skywalker Badder from Nature’s Grace and Wellness is a hybrid of classic Afghani and Thai strains. Tasty and packs a punch

GTI Black Afghan and Nature’s Grace and Wellness’ Skywalker makes shower time introspection time

So I’m in the bathroom, the water is running and I unbuckle my belt and in the mirror I’m seeing myself as on a tv screen. My brain flashes back to something I’d long forgotten. 

I was watching Hawaii Five-O on television, I must have been about six. The villain on the show was a terrible man. One of the most feared McGarrett, Danno and Chin Ho had ever faced. He had a girl kidnapped and tied to the bed in his hotel room. On the screen, it showed him unbuckling his belt, and the top button of his pants. 

To a six year old, who barely had a concept of sex, this left an unfortunate impression on the brain. I knew this was about sex, and so reasoned that sex was punishment for a women. They didn’t like it. They feared it. And feared masculine aggression, so I decided not to develop it a macho facade. 

It took McMillan and Wife and Susan Saint James a few years later to convince me that Hawaii Five-O might have had it wrong, and that women might not find sex so objectionable. I stood in the bathroom, pondering if Rock Hudson had come out of the closet before that show, I might have turned out gay? Such was the sexual indoctrination my parents subjected me to in their TV choices. 

Or I could have become a detective. 

By puberty, the anti-male way of thinking was firmly ingrained. I never got into working on cars, contact sports, hunting or fishing, or any of those manly pursuits. 

And I was never the aggressive party when it came to encounters with the opposite sex. I never found my inner Tony The Tiger. I never have been able to equate being relaxed with having sex. Maybe, I reasoned, stepping into the hot water of the shower stall, I’m just always afraid I’ll fart. 

In the rain forest of the shower, the senses come alive

“Fuck I”m high,” I thought as I washed my hair. The train of thought was a locomotive. I knew it was likely all bullshit, but seemed illuminating at the time. 

We’ve got one of those wide shower heads, so you don’t have to aim it. The flow isn’t overly strong, so it’s like standing outside in the rain. 

When it comes to soap, I have a preference. Pine Tar from Dr. Squatch. It smells like an old growth forest, which seems to me the perfect place to take a shower. Except for snakes or bugs, and so in some ways if you can close your eyes and find it smells like the woods, it’s better than the real thing. 

Besides, rain is never this warm. 

I knew the bathroom would be cold, and when I stepped out of the shower I’d be faced with the chill. This incredible physical sensation I was experiencing would stop abruptly. I decided to hang out in there a little longer. 

So Black Afghan and Skywalker bring the senses to life. Which without going into undo detail, made the rest of the night very nice as well. 

This is your brain on drugs: From Hawaii FiveO to Marcus Welby in one shower

It was about then that I realized this weed review was writing itself, and I cackled. The wife wondered what I was laughing at. I couldn’t explain it from the shower, because the movie was still going on. 

The best way to review GTI Black Afghan and Nature Grace and Wellness’ Skywalker was to just spill out the thoughts as they happened. This is your brain on drugs. 

I lifted my foot to wash the bottom and saw white blotches on the ball and some of the toes. I realized they were where I had some really nasty blisters a few times, a few years before. Blisters upon blisters. I began to wonder why they were lighter. Could that be part of the cause of the neuropathy I’ve developed over the years?

It was fascinating. I’d stand a moment, lift one foot and for two or three seconds, the spots shone bright. Then faded away. Could it be that the flesh under the skin was scar tissue, and blood didn’t flow there as easily?

I became fixated. I’d love to show that to my podiatrist, but the only way I could see to do it was to have him in the shower with me. As Rock Hudson was straight in McMillan and Wife, the thought made me uncomfortable and I switched off the water. 

Coming down from GTI Black Afghani and Nature’s Grace and Wellness’ Skywalker 

I didn’t touch the pipe the rest of the night. It’s after midnight now, and my mind is still racing. And my body is about as relaxed as it could possibly be. 

In the interest of full disclosure, I had two Dark Stella Artois and a shot of Jagermeister. Which likely has helped with the full body buzz I’ve had for most of the night. 

As for mind to body buzz, I’ll say this. After romance with the wife and putting her to bed, I still managed to write and edit this review. The brain is still chugging away. Typically the first step is taking a photo of what I’ve brought home, and I write the reviews later. Sometimes months later. 

Tonight the body buzz is strong enough that I don’t want to have to open the drawers to see which one I’ve stashed my camera in. But my fingers are willing to type, as long as I don’t have to move the rest of my body. It’s a pretty good balance of mind and body buzz.

It’s what it did to the mind that amazes me. At the moment, it feels like it used to feel coming down off acid, when your mind was still going with what felt like essential knowledge about yourself, bubbling up from the unconscious. The blinders fall from your eyes and you can see clearly. 

I expect to look over and see Buddha staring back at me. Not the cat.

That’s the buzz talking. As anyone who wrote down those rambling thoughts at times like that found out the next morning when they read them back. Or we mercifully forget. 

When a weed can do that, it’s worth keeping on hand. I can’t image what profession would let you spend your days and nights stoned like this. But the mountains of Afghan are a nice escape for a sleepy Saturday. 

The Particulars …

GTI Black Afghan: Indica dominant hybrid of Afghan #1 and Black Domina. In short, a heavy Afghani with a dash of Thai. THC 23.9%

Nature’s Grace and Wellness Badder Skywalker: Another Indica dominant hybrid of Blueberry and Mazar I Sharif. A bit more balanced between Afghani and Thai. THC 73.3%

Bedford Grow’s Azrael offers a giggly buzz, great for deep thoughts, or even just weed and dick jokes

Bedford Grow's Azrael buds
Bedford Grow’s Azrael, bred to be a relaxing buzz with enough of a lift to keep you entertaining yourself

Bedford Grow’s Azrael is an Indica dominant hybrid that’s relaxing, but stimulates the brain as well. It might not help with cognitive processes, or their efficiencies. Pretty high in THC, it lends itself to deeper thought, as long as you don’t take those thoughts too seriously. Just like the film where my guess is, Azrael got its name.

There’s a film called Dogma, starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. Often their films make me hurl, but they’re balanced by Jay and Silent Bob, the most obnoxious weed fueled comedy duo since Cheech and Chong. 

Dogma incorporated Catholic theology, demonology and a spiritual quest, with dick and weed jokes. The main nemesis of the film is of course, Azrael. 

When I saw Bedford Grow’s Azrael on the menu at ThriveIL in Harrisburg, I figured the name was because of his more well known occupation … the angel of death. Or demon, depending on where you fall in the Islamic, or Judeo Christian belief system. 

Being the dutiful researcher I am, I checked out the strains which turned out to be Bedford OG and … Dawgma. Someone at Bedford Grow must have a sick sense of humor. I ordered it on the spot. 

Bedford OG is a 80-30 Indica/Sativa hybrid, close to the Kush OG, and a very relaxing buzz. Calm is the word that comes to mind, with a burst of euphoria at the beginning. 

Dawgma is a 50-50 hybrid, also known for its euphoric effects. It also sharpens the the mind in a stoned sort of way, and the sativa gives it a lift. 

That lift is suppressed in Azrael, but it doesn’t strike you dead as the name might imply. Though the couch felt really good. The calmness of the OG and the spark to the imagination from the Dawgma made for a sweet afternoon, just sitting around the house. 

The film which is referenced by Bedford Grow's Azrael
A good film, mixing Catholic theology with dick and weed jokes. An ideal film and the namesake of Bedford Grow’s Azrael

Well that’s what I remember, though in reality we spent part of the afternoon bailing water out of the basement from the rain outside that was seeping up through the floor. It was surprisingly zen-like, sucking the streams of water from between the bricks with the Shop Vac. 

That’s the key to Azrael. Even when doing the mundane, your mind is able to find something of interest to focus on. 

After a nap and supper, I loaded a new glass pipe with it. I found it at Thrive, and it had been buzzing me each time I saw it. It has a bee theme to it, and I dig the bees. It’s handblown from Empire Glassworks, a relatively high end brand. I don’t typically spend that much for paraphernalia, but Christmas was coming up. 

Well that’s what I remember, though in reality we spent part of the afternoon bailing water out of the basement from the rain outside that was seeping up through the floor. It was surprisingly zen-like, sucking the streams of water from between the bricks with the Shop Vac.

I made the point that if we didn’t get a real tree this year, I could afford the pipe, she encouraged me. Last year’s tree, now denuded and dry is still in the yard. She’s not a fan of Christmas anyway. But she loves to see me happy, and I love her for that. 

So I lit up and she popped in Harry Potter. The Order of the Phoenix I think. I seem to remember seeing these with my kid when they came out. I’m old school on fantasy books and films. It’s a bit too modern for my tastes, but perfectly enchanting to watch stoned, providing you don’t spend the film picking it apart. 

I fall into that camp usually. But the Azrael kept me kicked back on the couch, and content enough to just watch and fall into the story, not to look for the holes. I still did … but not enough to kill the pleasure for me. 

The pipe cooled the smoke a bit, more so than the hash oil pipe I’ve used for decades. It’s sturdy. You don’t get the sense you could drop it on a brick floor, but it would stand a good chance of surviving carpet. 

Afterwards I tried a couple of bong hits. It was smoother this way, easier to take more smoke without coughing. Much. It took the second to get the dose right, and even that provided a head rush. 

I literally melted and slid down to the edge of the chair, the back of my head resting against the top, like a slouching teenager. My eyes were closed and I remembered how a review said the effects were psychedelic. I opened my eyes to flashes of purple and red and yeah, even though it was only a flashing Halloween light still up in the lounge, it was fucking psychedelic. 

Azrael from Bedford Grow is a demon of a buzz. 

Bedford Grow’s Azrael
Hybrid of Bedford OG and Dawgma
THC: 26.38%

Bedford Grow Super Silver Haze Crumble blends three vintage strains to feed your head

A gram of Bedford Grow’s Super Silver Haze Crumble

Bedford Grow Super Silver Haze Crumble is a unique and powerful buzz, straight into the brain and working its magic from within. It’s 50% Original Haze, or as I prefer, Haze Brothers, a Sativa dating back to the sixties on the west coast. The other half is split between Skunk #1, another legendary line from the seventies, and Northern Lights #5, from the Pacific Northwest, equal in stature to both. All three strains are known for sparking creativity and a burst of energy. In other words, Super Silver Haze is bred to feed your head. 

Bedford Grow’s Super Silver Haze is a weed custom made for people who have a need to be creative. Which is why I started getting high to begin with. 

I picked up a gram from ThriveIL in Harrisburg. The wife had got me George Harrison’s All Things Must Pass 50th Anniversary box set for Christmas. It’s the surround sound that does it for me. 

I had the house to myself, so there was no restriction on volume. I had some busy work to keep me occupied at my desk, in the center of the speakers. 

Bedford Grow’s Super Silver Haze … a child of some of the choices vintage strains

As all the lines that compose Bedford Grow’s Super Silver Haze are frequent award winners, so it would stand to reason that it would do the same. And it has. Deservedly so. It’s a great flavor, sweet with a hint of Skunk, but not completely overpowering. It’s a slightly fruity taste in the beginning, a little earthiness or spice and then fading back into Skunk. 

As for the buzz, it deserves the awards. It’s unique, energetic and mentally enthralling. My first thought was of Thai, and indeed that’s believed by some to be one of the mysterious strains in Northern Lights #5.

I decided to do the crumble in a dab rig. I opted to cold start it, as I don’t need that big of a hit. I’d rather have several small hits to replace that huge one you get when you hit a dab rig already at temperature. 

I was reeling as I got up from the chair. I quickly righted myself and headed downstairs. Visually things looked like an internet video whose streaming is skipping a bit. Not a lot, barely enough to be noticeable. 

I thought that curious, and after a couple minutes it was regretfully gone. 

So was the hot water. My goal was a quick shower. But the pilot light goes out frequently, and I was off to the basement to start it. Waiting for the  water to heat up … well I can’t tell you what I did. My body was moving and being productive with day to day tasks. That’s the energy part of Bedford Grow’s Super Silver Haze. But I remember finally finding myself in the bathroom with no clear memory of what I was doing before I came in here. 

My mind had been firing on all cylinders, seemingly oblivious to what my body was doing … solving work issues, fleshing out plans in progress, writing this review, all of this in my head. As I couldn’t even remember getting to the bathroom, it’s a safe bet I’ll remember next to none of it. 

I used to avoid showers just after getting high, afraid that somehow the water would wash the buzz away. I’ve since learned it doesn’t. And the hot water on the cold day reminded me of how nice the physical effects of Super Silver Haze are. I didn’t spend any super special time with myself, if that’s what you’re thinking. It was just a shower. At my age, hot water spraying on the back of your neck feels a helluva lot better. 

My mind had been firing on all cylinders, seemingly oblivious to what my body was doing … solving work issues, fleshing out plans in progress, writing this review, all of this in my head. As I couldn’t even remember getting to the bathroom, it’s a safe bet I’ll remember next to none of it. 

The shower did ground me a bit, though I was no less high. I also smelled better. 

If there’s a pitfall of Super Silver Haze it’s that a lack of focus can easily creep in. Particularly if you smoke too much, too fast. 

When I sat down to work, it all flowed nicely. Those of us who do jobs that don’t preclude being high, and we are legion, have learned some weed makes it easier. Some make it a nightmare. 

Super Silver Haze is great if it’s creativity you need, but can fudge a bit on the details. Those will be better left for another day. You can do it of course, but it might take longer than it normally would. 

It’s a great weed for listening to music and All Things Must Pass blew me away. I’ve heard one song on there, Isn’t It A Pity since I was nine years old, the month it came out. I’d never heard in the fade out, the low background singers are singing the na na nas of Hey Jude. 

That moment, and the weed to be honest, stirred an emotion. It was like remembering a joke a dearly departed friend had told you all those years ago, that you finally got.  

The wife was home just after dark, and I’d been cooking along on that one dab since this morning. I had come down a bit, the body buzz taking over. She had a long day at work, I’d stared at a computer screen most of the day, and the Super Silver Haze from Bedford Grow was beckoning me to the nap couch. 

I heeded the call. 

The Particulars:

Bedford Grow Super Silver Haze Crumble
Sativa
Lineage: Skunk, Northern Lights and Haze
THC: 80.44%

Wake and bake with Bedford Grow’s Lou’s Legacy leaves me stupidly stoned

Bedford Grow’s Lou’s Legacy

Bedford Grow’s Lou’s Legacy is a potent Indica, comprised of two award winning vintage strains. It delivers a high THC buzz which might inspire your mind to dig into something creative, if you can find a way to drag your ass off the couch.

It was supposed to be an easy day at work, mostly doing stuff for myself. Things that a buzz often improves upon. It’s one of the perks of being in a creative field. 

I peeked into my “one buzz left” stash, and saw Lou’s Legacy. Had no memory of smoking the rest of it. I vaguely remembered it was a Chemdog mixed with something, and Chemdog usually leaves me feeling a bit brainless. But it was going to be an easy day, so I dumped it out on the tray. 

A few hits later and I’m reeling. I didn’t go straight from bed to bong, but I still had my jammies on at least. It was cold outside, slightly icy even, and the combination of buzz and comfort locked into place. 

Chemdog, named for the Deadhead who developed it, is notorious for its diesel, chemical taste and the blistering buzz it administers. Though a 50-50 hybrid, mixed with another Sativa it can set the mind to racing at an uncomfortable speed if you’re not careful. 

The “something” mixed with Chemdog, or Chemdawg if you prefer in Bedford Grow’s Lou’s Legacy is Northern Lights Haze. Hailing from the great northwest, it’s also a balanced hybrid, which means the fuel for mind racing is there in its Sativa half. 

A few hits later and I’m reeling. I didn’t go straight from bed to bong, but I still had my jammies on at least. It was cold outside, slightly icy even, and the combination of buzz and comfort locked into place. 

“A few hits later and I’m reeling. I didn’t go straight from bed to bong, but I still had my jammies on at least. It was cold outside, slightly icy even, and the combination of buzz and comfort locked into place. “

My first hint the day was going sour was when my stereo didn’t work. I got an album for Christmas, this was my first chance since I got it where I had the house to myself. And though I could tell it was playing, there was no sound. A light blinked repeatedly, which told me something was wrong. But these new stereos I’ve yet to fully comprehend. It blinking was maddening, a constant taunt that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted. 

I decided a couple more hits might take my mind off of it. It did, for a couple minutes. Then the phone rang. 

It was a client, who informed me they had reversed the order of two jobs which needed done. The one I’d finished they didn’t need till later. The one I was doing tomorrow needed to be up a few hours ago. 

Fuck. 

We all have tasks which we can do stoned out of our gourds, blindfolded, with one hand tied behind our back. This wasn’t that. Something I learned long ago, is that for some things, pot just makes it take longer to get them done. This was one of those things. It also required correlating information from two people who don’t always agree, and calling the client frequently. She was having blood sugar issues because of her diabetes. It was tense, but we got it done. 

And that’s the drawback of smoking a particularly strong, mind fucking weed at work. You can get things done, but it tends to take longer if you intend on doing it right. Unfortunately when you work for yourself, you’re expected to do it right and not paid by the hour.

So rule number one when smoking Lou’s Legacy, is remember you’re likely to be stupidly stoned with a noticeable IQ drop. Compounding that is a bit of physical lethargy, which makes doing much of anything a bit too much effort. You’d really rather sit on the couch and catch an episode of Scooby Doo. 

One distinct positive is with just a couple more hits late in the afternoon, I was sailing into the evening. So once the job was done and I made it to the couch, I instantly dropped into relaxed mode. And rather than feeling like a nap, there was still the cerebral high that made me downright talkative. 

I meant to look up Lou, and learn why this buzz that leaves you feeling zig zagged is his legacy. But by then, I found curing the munchies with a bowl of chili and watching the wife’s Harry Potter films was a better way to shut off the brain and enjoy the smile. 

NOTE: Lou was Lou Dineff, who created Bedford Grow with his sister, Laurel. Lous was lost to cancer just after being awarded his Illinois licenses. R.I.P. Mr Dineff.

The Particulars:

Bedford Grow Lou’s Legacy
Hybrid of Chem 4 X Northern Lights X Haze
THC: 23-24%

Facing mortality and paranoia with the help of Verano’s Mag Landrace flower and sunrise shatter

Verano Mag Landrace

Verano’s Mag Landrace is a uniquely potent buzz. A pure Landrace from the mountains of Iran, transplanted to Illinois, it’s a crystal coated Indica with an unmistakable scent, as exotic as its source. It can lay you out, and make you happy to be there. Or the euphoric burst and relatively high THC levels can inflict a whiplash effect of paranoia on the unsuspecting smoker.

Rango told me not to look, but I did anyway. He’s a paranoid when it comes to medical issues. When you get our age, those become a fact of life. Sometimes they turn out to be nothing. Other times that’s not the case. It’s something you learn to live with, and you have to keep telling yourself that it was a choice. 

I can’t say I didn’t know all this shit was bad for me forty years ago when I started a life of substance abuse. And though I’ve learned the art of moderation and how to take care of myself since, I can’t undo all the damage I did when I was younger. 

After all, younger went up to just a few years ago. Maybe not numerically but in bad behavior. 

A change of doctor meant a physical, with blood tests. The results posted almost a week before the follow up appointment. Rango warned me about looking, but as I said, I did anyway. 

So it’s the night before the follow up and my anxiety level is creeping up.

Then it occurs to me, I have medicine for that. A lot of people smoke cannabis for the calming effect. I always smoked it for the buzz. But I figure it’s worth experimenting with. 

The way my teeth are clattering in nervous anticipation, I figure it’s going to take a healthy dose. That means some concentrate. That narrowed my choices to Purple Thai, Maui Wowie or Verano’s Mag Landrace. I don’t typically visit the dab rig more than once in an evening. And the Purple Thai and Mag Landrace both pack a pretty healthy wallop. The idea is to decrease paranoia, so rather than hit it twice, a bit of flower would top it off. 

As Verano’s Mag Landrace is an Indica, and more relaxing, and I had both flower and sunrise shatter, it was an easy choice. So I started with three small bong hits, and gave that a few minutes to hit. 

There’s no mistaking the flavor. Some say earthy, some say spicy. Perhaps a bit of apple, or cloves. All that applies. For me, it’s the smell of a World War I uniform I found once in a trunk in the attic of an old house. Still perfectly folded, no moths or mold. But it was the smell of old wool, so strong upon opening after fifty years that I could taste it. 

That’s what I taste and smell in Mag Landrace. And it’s not an unpleasant experience. You have to admit, Mag Landrace is unique. 

Boasting high THC levels, it’s a powerful Indica. A lot of people melt almost instantly into the couch. Rango used to find himself horizontal every time he smoked it, and not very happy about it. So in hindsight, smoking it to allieve paranoia could have been misguided. 

It’s also noted for promoting a healthy burst of euphoria. But I’ve noticed that euphoria can be a euphemism for raw energy. Which can go either way, depending on the mood. 

After twenty minutes, the energy had kicked in. Evidently it leaned towards euphoria, rather than paranoia, so I decided to visit the lounge and fire up the dab rig.

Dabbing Verano’s Mag Landrace sunrise shatter

I misjudged the first hit and choked. Not an extended spell, just a couple explosive coughs, a couple smaller ones then the mild head rush brought on by hyperventilating. I was back on the rig before it had a chance to cool off. 

I don’t take huge hits anymore. I don’t blow out a cloud that could fill a room. Instead, I take pride in how stoned I can get on the smallest amount possible. To me that’s just common sense. It took me almost forty years to develop common sense.

I load a hit about the size of a grain of rice. Wild rice, not the white stuff. It’s easy to get too high off a dab rig.  Inevitably I always feel a bit cocky after a few minutes. It’s not going to be that big of a ride.  

Rango doesn’t do well with Mag Landrace. But the other night he said “break it out.” After choking it down, he was doing pretty good and I pointed that out. 

“Wait twenty minutes” he said, wisely. 

Verano Mag Landrace and a trip from euphoria to paranoia and back again

It’s been ten minutes. I’ve been frantically typing. The energy burst this time has a bit of menace to it. It could be easy to slide into paranoia. 

Paranoia is a nasty thing. It’s why Jim Morrison quite smoking dope. That and he developed a taste for heroin. Of the people I used to smoke dope with who gave it up, a surprisingly large number claim paranoia as a the cause. Particularly with the newer, stronger strains that are readily available. 

The only real solution to paranoia is to look at things objectively. I saw the results, there’s no smoking gun pointing to imminent death. A change in lifestyle might be in order. Or things could really go south. All the cards are on the table. This could be the last normal night of my life.

Fuck. 

“I don’t take huge hits anymore. I don’t blow out a cloud that could fill a room. Instead, I take pride in how stoned I can get on the smallest amount possible. To me that’s just common sense. It took me almost forty years to develop common sense.”

But it’s part of getting older. My ex-father in law used to say “getting old isn’t for pussies.” Then one morning he was sitting at the kitchen table, stood up to put on his belt and pretty much dropped dead on the spot. 

It’s easy enough to push out the paranoia though with Mag Landrace. No matter what I learn tomorrow, I deal with it. After all, it’s not tomorrow yet. That’s the advantage of getting older. You’ve learned to deal with some pretty nasty shit. 

If you’re lucky, you come to the conclusion that at midnight, the night before something big, there’s not much you can do about it. Except do something you enjoy to take your mind off of it. 

That’s what I did, and the Mag Landrace certainly helped, then slowed me down and put me to bed. 

Bed is where paranoia really has a chance to creep in. I fell asleep before it had a chance. 

Mag Landrace is one of my go to strains. It’s a pure Landrace, not a trace of hybrid about it. It’s nice being able to go back to the source. I’ve had it in flower, shake, prerolls, live resin and RSO oil. I haven’t been disappointed by any of them. 

The next afternoon I find out all is well, or at least better than I expected. I need to pay a bit closer attention to my diet, and take a Vitamin D pill once a week. And if I care about my kidneys and liver, cut back on the drinking a bit. 

I can live with that. And it’s good to know when I go back in three months for a follow up, Verano’s Mag Landrace will be holding my hand. 

The Particulars:

Verano Mag Landrace Flower
THC 27%, give or take

Verano Mag Landrace RSO
THC 83.9%

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