DavidRayDavenport1977

Quickie Review: CrescendO from Nature’s Grace and Wellness gives a welcome Indica kick in the pants

A bud of Natures Grace and Wellness CrescendO Review — Smooth and tasty, CrescendO gives a creeping, ultimately intense cerebral high, alongside a mellow body buzz.

CrescendO lives up to its name. It builds. The first hit might leave a person wondering. Is that it? It tasted gassy, a bit like pine, but oddly refreshing. It was almost like quenching your thirst with something that had a hint of lemon about it. Then the buzz really hits.

And no cough. It’s amazingly smooth for a cannabis that often reaches 30% THC.

The second hit brought on a mellow rush, a warmth spreading through the head. A minute or so later I feel the first rush of energy. My step feels lighter whilst walking down the hall. Five minutes later a smile spreads across my face and my head begins to clear.

Mind and sensations seem to move faster than the stimulus. I’m loving hearing Painting Box by The Incredible String Band, but it feels like I’m a line or two ahead of the music.

A bit later I find myself scraping up what was left in the tray for a third hit. I didn’t need a third hit. I wanted one. ISP is still playing in the background but I can’t focus on it. Instead, lines and couplets jump out at me yanking me back into it from time to time and the smile grows wider. Multiple trains of thought are going on at once, and I’m not following any of them.

Part of it is the placebo effect. Sometimes you get the buzz your preconceptions lead you to believe you’ll have. In this case I had read a review before smoking, mistakenly identifying CrescendO as Sativa dominant. As those tend to provide a bit of pep, the mind takes over and finds energy.

“Multiple trains of thought are going on at once, and I’m not following any of them”

There’s no work pressing so I’m working on organizing and cleaning the office and the lounge. The tasks I set for myself mostly completed, I add a couple others, finishing none. But totally fine with that. I mean progress is progress, right? But on a downside, I’ve gone downstairs twice now for a cup of ice to go with a Sprite, and can’t seem to remember long enough to get to the kitchen. Something else comes up.

An hour later I have some semblance of order on my photo studio work counter, a project I hadn’t identified as something I was going to do today. Also, the weed paraphernalia is clean, with the exception of the nail which is still soaking.

I’m wanting to smoke more. Not that I need to, but because it’s fun. I refrain. I’m starting to feel a bit of an energy drain. The energetic buzz combined with physical activity wears you down twice as fast. And kicking back and being mellow feels twice as good as usual.

I resist temptation. I answer a few emails. I take a quick stroll the garden and back inside, the munchies hit. Peanut Butter on an Ezekial muffin. The muffin is good, very healthy. But I choose Peter Pan Honey Natural because, well I’m a Peter Pan fan damnit. I think a lot of us would like to be Peter, just as he’d like to be us.

The fact that I think that is a testament to CrescendO, because at the moment I thought it, it seemed profound as fuck.

After the peanut butter, the eyelids begin to droop. It’s warm up here now, and warm downstairs as well. I always knew I’d nap today, so why fight it? It’s always a question … will the buzz outlast the nap? I decide to give it a try.

I might have slept ten minutes, but lay there for the better part of an hour. Finally I gave up on the nap, fixed a cup of tea, had another hit of CrescendO and sat down and wrote pretty much the whole article in one, forty five minute sitting.

And had supper singing in the pot when the wife came home.

CrescendO has intense Indica tendencies. More so than many of the others I’ve smoked. It’s not the weed that makes you sleepy. That comes from being a bit sleepy to start with, and not having the energy to keep up with the buzz. It would be a great weed for going for a hike in the forest.

The Particulars

CrescendO from Nature’s Grace and Wellness
THC: 27.3%.

God Save The Kinks

You seldom get to meet your heroes. If you do, it would just be a quick handshake, a smile for the camera, a few blubbered words which they’ve probably heard a million times before. They already have the joke to come back with for you to tell your friends later.

That seems awkward to me, so I always pass up the opportunity. I watched Donovan sign autographs after a show once, stood about ten feet away and just watched him. When the line would thin out he’d catch me, smile and go on to the next person. When he was done he looked over at me, smiled and waved and was off. That was fucking Donovan. He knew what I was doing and was cool with it. I got more from that encounter than if I’d stood in the line and got the autograph.

I was late coming to the Kinks. But when I did, I was all in. They were the first to go psychedelic. The first band to burst out of the speakers with a truly heavy guitar. The first to delve into alternative sexualities, years before they figured out how to live up to their name with Lola.

The British bands were different. They wrote songs. Americans jammed. Songs take craftsmanship. It’s hard to write lyrics that capture a bit of the universal psyche, is catchy and makes you wanna shake your butt.

They were the first to go psychedelic. The first band to burst out of the speakers with a truly heavy guitar. The first to delve into alternative sexualities, years before they figured out how to live up to their name with Lola.

Banned from America, Ray Davies wrote himself into a breakdown, as barred from the biggest market in the world, to survive you had to have hits. So they became exquisitely British. Waterloo Sunset, from 1967 has even frequently been tossed around as the most beautiful lyrics in the English language.

It was in a video from that era, the very early seventies … he was wearing a velvet jacket in a performance, and I thought that was about the coolest thing ever. Years later, I saw a velvet jacket in a JPeterman catalog. Black. I coveted it, but I couldn’t afford it. Then after Christmas came the half price sale.

It’s my lucky jacket. There’s something about it. I had a guy come up to me in a restaurant once and asked if he knew me. I didn’t. He asked where I was from, I told him, he thought I was being cagey, but was polite and fucked off. A few minutes later he was back. “By know you, I mean, are you famous or something?”

It was the jacket. I’ve had other variations on that theme. A velvet jacket draws peculiar glances.

A few years later I’m walking through the square in front of the Abbey in Bath, England. I look ahead, there’s a couple strolling towards me. The guy is wearing a fur cap. He’s looking at me, at the jacket and smiling. He might have been remembering having one like that once upon a time. It’s Ray Davies.

We keep walking towards each other, and I’m tempted to say something, but his eyes go from the jacket to mine, and he smiles, the gap toothed smile. I smile back and we walk on.

Genius is a word that’s overused when people write about him. But he found a way to rhyme consortium in a song. And he wrote and recorded this song, then held onto it for fifty years, before finally releasing it. When he, and his audience was old enough to get it.

That’s patience, and that’s genius.

Doing bongs back in the day

U.S. Bong advertisement in Rolling Stone magazine, sometime in the early eighties

Amongst my friends in high school, there was a great debate. What was the best way to smoke pot? There was the joint of course, ubiquitous. At times we all rolled one, those of us who could. I barely could. It was a pain in the ass, and you always had the feeling, watching all that smoke go off into the air from the lit tip, that there had to be a more efficient way.

There were hash pipes, and I still have one of mine from back then. That’s what I graduated to after joints. You could even put a bit in the center chamber and smoke through it, in theory making it stronger.

Then came the steamroller, a bowl on top of a glass cylinder. It was potent, but harsh. And easy to break, thank god.

I was an early adapter for bongs. The first time I smoked out of one, it was made from a deodorant container. I made one from a radiator hose, attached to a bay food bottle. A couple fittings from the hardware store created a stem and bowl. It worked pretty well, but I was almost busted when my mother notice a black ring around my mouth one night when I came home.

So I went to the nearest head shop to buy a real bong. If you lived in Carmi, that meant going to Evansville to either Folz City Boutique or Karma Records. Folz City was funkier and had a longer pedigree, back when places that sold things like this, as well as black light posters was almost underground. They carried everything from the underground magazines, to essentially counter culture books, plus albums, posters, incense, clothes and god only knows what else.

They mainly carried ceramic bongs, in a dizzying array of designs, and a few acrylic models.

Ceramic bongs could be made into any kind of style … you could smoke from a smiling Buddha. Or you could go for the technological marvels from Toke International, with a built in tray. Decades later I’d find myself in possession of one with a tray, and in the shape of a dragon. It wasn’t mine, I was just custodian for a short time, but it had its charms.

It worked pretty well, but I was almost busted when my mother notice a black ring around my mouth one night when I came home.

Things like that seem cheesy now, but let’s face it. The whole hippie movement and those that came after were flakey as hell. That’s what made it so great. When you look down at the dragon, encircled in smoke, you have to laugh, because it’s a stereotype, yes. But because it still looks fucking cool.

I had one of the acrylic models. They were oddly shaped, a single chamber with thicker rings near the bottom – bulbous – and it had tubes. Two that came out from the water to the top of the chamber. It didn’t work all that well, and shortly leaked like a motherfucker.

Then came U.S. Bongs which solved the bong problem for me. Thick acrylic, sturdy tubing and the wooden bowl which came off, rather than using a carburetor. That was an innovation at the time and is now standard.

They showed that you could mass produce bongs, and market them at scale. Apogee followed, with a bowl that you pulled out using a wire handle. Good bongs, simpler than U.S. Bongs.

Then came the backlash and the IRS drove U.S. Bongs out of business. By then I’d downscaled, and couldn’t even tell you what kind of bong I had for a decade or two. And then none, as I dabbled in having a straight mind.

Now it’s glass. It’s everywhere, and it tastes the best. By virtue of tasting the least of all. And I keep it clean. No more having to fumigate the house because the bong tipped over.

I still have a hash pipe. Had it for so long I can’t begin to remember where it came from. And there is a non descript acrylic bong around here someplace, that saw use for over a decade.

I eventually learned to roll. From rolling tobacco. But I haven’t rolled an actual joint in years. Though I do on occasion buy the pre rolls.

I still prefer a bong. Because it’s smoother, easier on the throat, and I love the ritual involved in it.

Frequently Asked Questions: On pot, flower, concentrates, extracts and edibles

Flower is what we used to call pot.

When you get it home and open the jar, the smell is a warning. You realize after your first hit that this isn’t the same shit you used to smoke. You might not realize much of anything else for quite some time until you’re finally able to peel yourself off the couch.

It’s baffling to an older stoner, who is used to buying generic pot from a dude in a trailer, and you’re suddenly confronted with brand names and bewildering array of options. Hence this guide to legal cannabis in southern Illinois, especially for the “old enough to remember” crowd.

Where can I find legal cannabis in Illinois?

In Illinois, you buy pot in a dispensary. Thrive in Harrisburg is my local. They usually have a decent selection, decent price and most important … you can buy pot. Legally. No shit. The first time you walk out the door of a store with weed in your hand you just about shit yourself. And you’re still completely paranoid all the way home.

You can relax. The DEA isn’t going to come kicking in your door. Well, not from the weed you buy at Thrive at least.

I’ve also hit Consume Cannabis in Marion and Carbondale, and Ascend in Fairview Heights. All have good shit, all are professional organizations and I feel comfortable buying from any of them. All have sales, buyer’s programs and the price doesn’t vary more than five or ten bucks.

Unless you’re looking for something specific, the nearest one is probably a good, safe bet. Then again, there’s a certain thrill in traveling for just the right weed.

Why can’t I find MY pot? I mean, what is this shit on the menu?

If you live in southern Illinois and usually smoke commercial weed, then you probably can’t. Thankfully. Obviously since its legal the price is going to be high. To balance it out, the quality of the cannabis is a lot higher unless you’re one of the lucky ones.

That said, you can likely find some relatives of the pot you’re familiar with. Or the taste you remember from back in the day.

So remember when looking at the menu, that pot, weed, grass – the stuff you smoke – is flower now.

It’s often said, (nearly as often disputed and never said without a caveat), that there are two types of cannabis, Sativa and Indica. Sativa is more known for giving you a lift. Euphoria if you will. Indica is known for pinning you to the couch.

Some of the old cannabis strains, such as Acapulco Gold and Panama Red were Sativa. Others, such as Afghani and Northern Lights were Indica.

And Indica was often the source of hashish.

Where can I find hashish?

Good luck. It’s been around, but seems to have disappeared again. For those who never had it, it was compressed marijuana, traditionally done in countries like Afghanistan by rubbing it between the hands and scraping it off. In southern Illinois we likely got it from a slightly different source. It smelled incredible and got you higher than regular weed.

And cost about $30-35 a gram as I remember. When I’ve found it in the dispensaries it was a bit more than twice that.

It’s a marijuana concentrate and still common in Europe, where it can be transported easier than across oceans. Since all cannabis sold in Illinois has to be raised here as well, they focus on more profitable concentrates.

But even though people call most concentrates hash, it’s not hashish. It’s stronger. The smell is still sweet, but not the same. It comes in a variety of consistencies, none of them as hard as a chunk of Lebanese.

Yet concentrates do have their charms.

What’s the best weed for sex?

That depends. If you mean “what’s the best weed to get a woman to have sex with me,” that weed ain’t been grown yet.

If you mean “what’s the best weed to put me in the mood?” then that would depend on what kind of mood puts you in the mood for sex.

If you use the common rule of thumb, a Sativa would make you more energetic. An Indica will make you more relaxed. For hybrids, read the description and reviews.

If I knew the answer to either of these questions then trust me, I’d have had a lot more sex than I did.

What’s the best pot?

Whatever I’m smoking now.

Can I get a dime bag? What quantities does legal cannabis come in?

No. Even a gram will run about thirty bucks. And it doesn’t come in baggies in the dispensary. The usual quantity for flower is an eighth of an ounce, particularly for buds. Shake pretty commonly comes as a quarter. I have seen a few ounces on the menu at various dispensaries, but that’s out of my price range. An ounce of weed from a dispensary is an investment for me. I’ve yet to find one I want to cozy up with for that long without sampling the new ones. A few strains you can get a gram, and prerolled joints are usually a half gram to a gram and a half. The small ones often comes in packs of four or five.

Hashish comes in grams, as does hash oil, and most concentrates.

How much legal weed can I buy at one time?

If you live in Illinois, and can prove it, you can purchase 30 grams of flower, 500mg of THC edibles, and 5 grams of cannabis concentrate. If you live out of state, you can buy half that. But keep in mind, when you cross state lines into a state without legal cannabis, your legal weed is now contraband. Plus you’ve crossed state lines, which could really land your ass in a sling.

The simplest solution to that conundrum? Move to Illinois. Abe Lincoln came from here. It’s a decent place.

How much should I expect to pay for legal cannabis?

Illinois legal cannabis is likely the most expensive in the country, and that’s before taxes.

A gram of flower is usually $20, an eighth runs about $60, though sometimes you can find it for for $45-$55. A quarter of shake will set you back $80-$100. Buds go for $95-$100. A half ounce runs about $180, an ounce about $315.

Then there are taxes. At ThriveIL in Harrisburg, taxes run about 35%, give or take. In Chicago it’s between 40-50%, which is yet another good reason to live in southern Illinois. Did I mention we have the Shawnee Forest?

Is legal weed worth the price?

Whether legal weed is worth the price or not depends on you. In the end, it comes down to quality and supply. Now that the dispensaries are more or less fully stocked, there is always some quality weed available. I never had a supplier who could provide the high standard of weed I get at a dispensary on a regular basis. Certainly not with this kind of choice. Nor flavor.

Whether it’s the higher THC content in legal weed over much of the commercial market, or the qualities of the line of cannabis and their various properties, I get higher off legal weed, smoking less. Probably about 30% less. That’s brings the price down to where it’s close.

Perhaps more important for an older crowd, who spent most of their lives abusing their lungs, that’s 30% less wear and tear on those. Switch to a dab rig and do concentrates and you’ll inhale even less, and it’s believed that you’ll do your lungs even more of a favor by choosing vapor over smoke.

Inhaling concentrates you bought on the street is a crap shoot. It’s the golden rule of drug dealers. If they can cut it with something to make it go further, and fetch more money, they often do it. Even if it damages their customers.

And then there’s the ethical side of it. Pot dealers aren’t normally motivated by altruism, once you get past your connection, or better yet, a friendly grower. The suppliers are trying to make a profit, or at least get their own dope for free. The companies growing and selling legal cannabis in Illinois are trying to make a profit as well. But a big chunk of what you pay goes to the town where the dispensary is located. Some of these smaller towns were in desperate need of a cash infusion.

In short, smoking legal dope now makes you a good citizen. Ironic, ain’t it?

Most important, I love the taste, the buzz … how it makes me feel. Ditch weed never did that for me. One of my research victims has smoked dope for as long as I have. He can smoke dope all night and never notice he’s caught a buzz. Now he can be laid out with a properly timed hit of Mag Landrace Shatter.

I realize that for some people, none of this matters. They love smoking dope, the ceremony, the ritual, even if the actual buzz faded away years ago because of their tolerance. They buy for quantity. They should stick to it.

But if you’re looking for the buzz, legal weed tends to provide more of a buzz for your buck.

How much pot can I possess in Illinois?

As much as you can purchase at one time! 30 grams of flower, 500mg of THC edibles, and 5 grams of cannabis concentrate

Can I grow my own?

Only if you have a medical marijuana card, then you can grow five plants. Start working on those symptoms!

Are edible the most economic choice in legal weed in Illinois?

The short answer is yes, if edibles work for you. I don’t have the evidence to back it up, but that’s a safe bet. Those nasty little vape pens might run a close second. Only if by the end of the week your lungs are so shot you have to ration yourself.

Edible don’t work for me. They work well as a supplement, just not as the main course. It feels like taking drugs. I have little control over how high I get, or how long it takes to get there.

I get high, but I don’t get the ritual of getting high. Just over time it dawns on me … “oh I say, I believe I’m high now.”

That doesn’t work for me. I like the ritual. Maybe someday, when smoking it is just too painful, then I’ll advocate. Till then, I’ll stick to the old ways.

What are terps?

Terps, or terpenes are the oils in Cannabis which add scent and flavor to the plant. Not a lot is known about their affect on your buzz, but it’s a safe bet they have one. And quite likely a substantial effect.

Look, you can go as deep into this as you like. As for myself, I treat terpenes like I do the elements that go into beer or whiskey. There are certain kinds of beer I like, and some kinds that I love. It’s the same with weed. Knowing that I’m tasting Pinene doesn’t really change how I feel, or how the weed tastes. I’m not a scientist, and I’m not out to impress anyone with my knowledge of weed.

God only knows if you need someone like that, you can usually find them standing in line at the dispensary, talking way too loud about this shit.

Now you can use the terpenes as indicators of what the weed will taste like, and perhaps how it will warp your mind. That’s great. There are all kinds of sources online for exploring terpenes. Here’s a good one to start with …

Frequently Asked Questions: On Papers, Pipes, Bongs and Dab Rigs

Do they still smoke joints?

They do! You can even buy them rerolled now. With decent papers, not a pack of cherry flavored EZ Widers.

Since a full sized joint of a gram to a gram and a half can knock your dick in the dirt, they also come in smaller sizes. Some in cute little tins. Poetic justice for when you carried your weed in an Altoid container.

The full size comes in a variety of hermetically sealed tubes. You can almost imagine a little universe living in there with it. You’ll end up saving those, like the little containers from concentrates, even though you’ll never come up with anything to do with them.

And you can roll your own. They even sell tubes which you stuff with your weed to make it easier. For those who never got the hang of rolling.

Can you buy cannabis pipes in Illinois?

Sure you can. I can find a decent, if somewhat high end selection at Thrive dispensary even. A lot of liquor stores and convenience stores appear to sell them. I got my current bong in a gas station. CBD dispensaries also sell them.

Some of these devices you won’t understand. You should be able to spot the bongs and pipes. They haven’t changed much.

But as a rule of thumb, if you’re looking at it and can’t figure out where you’d put the pot, it’s probably not for actual grass.

You can still find acrylic bongs, in all the old colors. I’ve got one in the closet now, but I converted to glass. It’s thick glass, unlike that thin shit from the eighties that broke when you looked at it wrong.

Besides, at my age if I can’t hold onto the bong, I shouldn’t be smoking it. I don’t drink out of a sippy cup, so why should I need an unbreakable bong. The real danger is in spilling the motherfucker, and turning your carpet into The Bog of Eternal Stench.

Ceramic bongs are still around as well. So you can find that dragon bong you had in the seventies, or a penis shaped one for those who are so inclined.

Glass pipes are big but you can still find the metal ones. I have a nickel plated one I’ve had longer than I can even remember. It’s a hash pipe if you want to get technical. With a lid. Where it excels is with a small bud broken up and buttered with hash oil. With the right combination, it almost, almost smells like hash. And quality screens are totally worth it.

I just bought a prerolled and there’s cardboard at the end. What the fuck? Are they trying to rip me off or what?

Mellow out. It’s called a crutch. Sometimes it’s an actual filter. Other times it’s just a bit of rolled up cardboard or thicker paper, to keep the pot from coming out in your mouth, and to keep you from getting your fingers burned. I know, I know, that’s why god invented roach clips. But the younger generation isn’t as adaptive, they want everything built in. Most prerolled joints contain a full gram, unless it’s a short where you usually get two half gram joints.

What’s the difference between a joint, a spliff and a blunt?

If you’re old enough to remember when a joint was all there was, then you know a joint is marijuana rolled up in a rolling paper. Or the Yellow Pages or even the Bible if you didn’t have any papers. Pretty simple, providing you know how to roll.

A spliff is a joint rolled with a combination of pot and tobacco. In Britain these were known as reefers in the seventies, with hash often taking the place of flower.

A blunt is a cigar hollowed out and filled with weed. If you’re good, you can roll a blunt yourself, using the same tobacco papers used for rolling a cigar.

Why are all the bongs I see made from glass nowadays?

Back in the day, most bongs were made of acrylic. They didn’t shatter like glass, were a cheaper alternative and came in a wide variety of shapes, sizes and technology. The drawbacks to acrylic is they add a bit of unwanted flavor to your cannabis. They are also more prone to develop that nasty bong funk smell that could ruin a room for a day or two when you spilled the water on your carpeting.

Today’s glass bongs taste cleaner, and tend not to develop the rancid funk quite as quickly, because it doesn’t absorb bacteria like acrylic. Bacteria is the prime source of stench in a bong, just as it is in your crotch on a summer day.

It used to be glass was pretty fragile, but today’s bongs are made with thicker glass, including super thick glass which can survive a tumble to the floor. They also include built in devices such as percolators that cools the smoke even more.

Also available are silicone bongs. These are virtually indestructible, but due to the nature of their materials, the high falutin features you find in glass bongs typically aren’t available. Great for travel, camping in the Shawnee Forest, but lacking the panache of glass, or even a ceramic dragon bong.

I still think silicone would be a lot like smoking out of a Doc Johnson dildo, but that’s just me.

Ceramic bongs are of course still around. They don’t taste as nasty as acrylic, and since you can’t see through them, don’t look as nasty when they’re dirty. The drawback is you don’t necessarily know how dirty they are till you notice the smell. Plus they can be poured into all kinds of nifty molds, so you get dragons, wizards, necked women and of course, the every popular penis or breast shaped bongs.

What’s the best way to clean a bong?

That’s a contentious issue. My own technique, which is pretty common involves alcohol and coarse ground salt. For glass bongs or pipes, the highest percentage of alcohol you can get is the best. For acrylic, you want to keep it at about 50-70% alcohol.

There are those who say that salt and alcohol can scratch the surface. It’s entirely possible, but I haven’t seen it yet. It’s also pointed out, rightly, that you never want to inhale alcohol fumes. So when you’re finished, rinse, rinse and rinse again. If it still smells like alcohol, keep rinsing. Then rinse a little longer.

I usually start by popping an Effervent denture tablet into the bong with clean water, above the water line, and let it sit till I finally remember to go pour it out. I replace the water with the alcohol so that the dirty bits are able to soak.

I then pour a goodly amount of coarse salt into the water chamber, along with enough alcohol to fill once again above the gross line. Then wander off for a while. When I come back I add more coarse sea salt, cover all exits and shake the living shit out of it, till the walls look clean. Then shake some more, because it’s good exercise and lots of fun. Then rinse as noted above.

How do you smoke concentrates?

There are a variety of methods. You can finagle it into a bowl and smoke it through a pipe or bong. But that’s wasteful, as you’re not heating it at the right temperature. Ideally, you heat it till it turns to vapor, then inhale the vapor. Which in theory is better on your lungs.

For that you need a nail. Essentially a nail is a bowl, but in this case made from metal, quartz or glass. You heat it with a torch. Carefully. Till it’s about the equivalent of red hot. Then using your alchemist’s intuition, you let it cool to the proper temperature, then drop your concentrate into the bowl, er, nail, and puff away. A dab rig is essentially a small bong, with the nail attached. Unlike grass, the idea isn’t to cool it off with as much water as possible. Instead, you want the vapor to travel a short distance, and through water to cool it.

If it sounds a bit complicated, it is. It takes learning how to do it, and practicing. And watching lots of YouTube videos. Here’s a good place to start.

Another good option is an electronic pen. It has a battery, some kind of control, a coil and a mouthpiece. You drop the concentrate on the coil, put it all back together, push the button and puff. Then cuss because you forgot to charge it. When you do, it usually works. But gets a lot dirtier, faster than a dab rig.

But travel well.

What’s the best way to smoke hashish?

Send me a message and I’ll come over and demonstrate, providing you have hash. And pay travel time. I’m not cheap.

Otherwise, I prefer a hash pipe. Metal, about three inches long. Don’t know why, I just do.

You can put it in a bong, break it up and sprinkle it in a joint. An old favorite is to put it on a thumbtack, light it and put a glass over it. When the glass is full, tip is so can get your mouth against the opening and suck in the smoke. That likely tastes the best.

I haven’t tried a dab rig or an electronic pen. Or any of the new tools the cool kids are using. We’re old school here.

What’s the best way to light a bong?

A Bic lighter is the old standby. Avoid the cheap knockoffs. I was smoking dope at Wesselman Park in Evansville, Indiana one fine spring day, sitting in the car. I was lighting a bong, because I was fearless and stupid, and I noticed that the plastic was bubbling next to the metal flame guard.

I thought that curious.

I realized I’d melted the plastic, the gas was mixing with the plastic and at the instant I thought “throw the motherfucker” and opened my hand it exploded, shooting through the open window like the Challenger space shuttle accident, sending shards of melted plastic into my fingers. Which then dried.

“Ouch,” I said.

So long story short, don’t begrudge an extra buck and pick up a decent lighter.

Currently I use a torch. Not a particularly powerful one, but a nice blue flame with a whooshing sound. I probably got it in the checkout lane at Walmart, or at Hucks. The advantage is it burns it quick, so can pull softer and for a shorter period of time. It helps avoid the cough.

The drawback to all those methods would be the butane adds a flavor to the smoke. Plus you’re inhaling butane, which can cause problems.

What I’m transitioning to myself, is the match. Book or wood, doesn’t matter. Of course it puts off a sulphur smell when you light it, but once that’s settled down, you apply it to the weed, and there’s no added scent.

Unless you have rancid matches.

Verano’s Mag Landrace … A pure Persian cannabis redefines stoned

Verano Mag Landrace could prove to be the perfect Indica for myself. With a startlingly original taste and scent, and a buzz that’ll take two inches of height off you, I found myself snatching up every version of it I could. It comes with a reputation for being exotic. The reputation is deserved.

At ThriveIL today I picked up Verano Mag Landrace, believed to be a pure Iranian Landrace. Or Persian if you prefer to be exotic. I prefer. It’s an ancient Indica, at least if there’s any truth to the legends.

The Persians used cannabis for religious purposes, as far back as the third century. Somehow a clone of a Mag Landrace plant found its way to Illinois, without going through the usual channels. So what you get is the original strain, without being bred with others.

“Mag Landrace from Verano just redefined stoned in my book. I need to know if it was really that good, or if the reputation of an exotic strain of weed triggered the placebo effect. ”

I’d also read it reminded some people of hashish, and indeed, as I found out, would be good served in that fashion.

I also managed to pick up some Verano Mag Landrace RSO Oil. I love mixing oil and flower, particularly if they’re from the same strain. It intensifies everything … scent, flavor, buzz.

A combination perfect for the hash pipe

As soon as we got home I went for the hash pipe. I’d never tried RSO oil before. Named for the cancer patient who invented the process, Rick Simpson, he recommended rubbing it on. Others in the medical community recommend taking it orally.

The main drawback is if it’s made with a highly flammable agent in the concentration process. If so, you can’t smoke it. This wasn’t, and it smoked just fine.

It is thicker than the typical hash oil I get. Perhaps because of that, it spread easily on the small bud I had placed in the bowl. I popped the cap on and took the first hit.

It was the taste that struck me, before the effect of the pot.

When I was a little boy, I discovered a trunk in my grandpa’s attic. Inside was a World War One uniform, folded neatly away. Obviously this trunk hadn’t been opened in decades. That musty smell is what came to mind.

But not in a bad way. It was as though that smell had been transformed into something exotic and beautiful. And on the second hit, it evened out, and I thought of a Persian spice cabinet.

And that was all I needed for several hours, till Rango arrived, tonight’s test subject.

How to make one bowl stone two people

The rest of the afternoon and evening had been amazing. A lovely day with the wife. After dinner Rango showed up and we went upstairs to the lounge.

Six months ago Rango could have smoked as much dope as you put in front of him. And not felt much of anything. Now forty pounds lighter, he’s cut out the Cokes and the junk food, cut back on the weed and is something approaching healthy.

He’s no lightweight when it comes to weed now. He smokes more some days than I do in a week. But he has faced the fact that he does have limits.

I broke up a bit of the Verano Mag Landrace flower, and scraped it into a pile. Then I took out the syringe of the Mag Landrace RSO Oil, shot out a bit too much, caught it on the dab tool and pressed it into the broken up flower.

I began to twirl. The flower stuck to the oil and eventually formed a ball. I heated up the bowl of the bong, so when I put the tool in, the glob would slide off easier. It worked.

“I hate to think what I’m going to feel like in twenty minutes,” Rango said.

Rango had been lounging on the bed, playing guitar and I summoned him over. I knew I was going to need backup on this hit. I opted for the small torch. It’s the kind you can buy in any convenience store in the country. It gets hotter than a Bic lighter so it’s great for bongs, but you have to apply it for a while to heat up the nail in a dab rig.

It worked great on the oil/flower combination. And I was right. I needed backup.

I barely had enough air to pull the bowl off and try to clear the bong. I failed in that and passed it to him. I concentrated on not coughing and finding a way of getting the smoke out of my lungs.

Using a combination of short exhales and what I imagined in the midst of my head rush to be Yoga breathing, I managed to clear my lungs. Just in time for Rango to hand me the bong, which was still smoking menacingly.

There’s wasn’t much flower left, but the oil had clung to something and we passed the bong back and forth for far too long. Finally I handed it to him, the tendril of smoke still rising from the bowl, and he just shook his head.

I grabbed the dab tool and shuffled things about in the bowl, and must have tilted the screen as on my next hit, I sucked the glob down into the water where it was mercifully extinguished.

I sat the bong on the bar and we both stared at it, hesitantly, afraid that even submerged in water, it would start smoking again.

“I hate to think what I’m going to feel like in twenty minutes,” Rango said.

What he felt like twenty minutes

Twenty minutes later he’s having a smoke in the bathroom. I’m at the open window, watching the garage for raccoons and opossum. Last week we had a staring contest with an opossum on the roof outside the window. The bastard refused to leave, even when I whipped out the strobe light.

Rango stabs his cigarette out and starts to walk. His arm reaches out and grabs my leg. I like him too, but not that way. He moves quickly on, using any solid surface as a walking stick, working his way towards the bed in the lounge.

He reaches it manages to slide onto it with some degree of cool. A very slight degree, but you having to give him points for trying.

When you change your lifestyle, you find certain things just fit. Evidently Mag Landrace from Verano isn’t one of them for him. At least not in oil and flower mixture.

I manage to hold my own and stay upright. He did find himself vertical on occasion, but spent most of the rest of the night staring at the ceiling in the lounge, laying on the bed.

I even take a couple more bong hits of the Verano Mag Landrace flower. I love the taste, though I can still pick up the mustiness, but it’s quickly swept away by vision of nights in the sultan’s tent, someplace in the Iranian desert under a full moon.

The Particulars:

Verano Mag Landrace Flower
THC 27%, give or take

Verano Mag Landrace RSO
THC 83.9%